Taking People for Granted

What an appropriate time to be writing about not taking people for granted. 

Today, one of my roommates walks out of his room with his iphone in hand, extremely excited.  He had just been doing hours of studying, reading, homework blah blah blah.  On his phone he downloaded an application that transforms your to-do list into a mythical game.  As you finish things on the list, you level up in the game.  You get prizes and items and what not.  He loves video games like this and has now, more or less, turned his life into one.  I can't help but think how damn cool this is.  Not the game, I definitely don't have an interest in that...but he does.  I think it is so neat how much he appreciates something like that and that he really has such a passion for things like that.  

My point is that you may not always agree with the things the people around you are doing, but maybe stop judging for one fucking second and listen.  You may actually learn something.  It's about having an open mind.  Hearing what people have to say.  I definitely agree Sam, you can't have enough knowledge.  I think we should all try to appreciate the things most people would be so quick to judge about.  Every person is completely unique and may make different life choices based on their own individual experiences.

Don't take people for granted.  Listen to what they have to offer.  You make not be able to understand why at this moment but I guarantee one day, when that person is no longer around, you will wish you had more time to share with them.

Have you ever taken someone for granted?

Do you think it is important to express interest in other people's interests?

Have you ever stopped to appreciate the little things?

- Jordan

Taking People for Granted

What people have to offer.

It seems like it's just really cool to hate people these days. I seem to always here from everyone, "Oh my god I hate people." or the famous, "Ugh, people..."

This isn't a cool way to think or feel. I re-peat NOT cool.

No one needs to explain to anyone how flawed humans are or how annoying, ignorant and rude groups of people are. I've found lately that there is more nobility in being able to deal with people. At this point in the human progression it's safe to say that knowledge is key and what I think everyone can get out of eachother is a little bit of knowledge. No matter what it is you can learn something from everyone. There have been way too many times that I go out of my way to avoid contact with people and I'm finding that a bit of what I'm doing is avoiding myself. The fact is that everyone has one thing in common and that's being human. Typically there are more things than that but I'll keep it to a minimum. Due to these similarities we are able to use people as a mirror. We can look in and see what qualities others possess that we admire and maybe want to add to ourselves. We also, more often then not, find ways NOT to be. It's a bummer when this happens but none the less it teaches us how to be...even if it's how not to be.

 

Try to imagine every experience that's happened in your life and try to imagine how it's changed you. Impossible right? Well you're not the only one. Everyone has had unique experiences and grown in different ways becasue of it....there is basically an endless supply of possibilities when it comes to people. I'm not saying not to talk shit on bros with your friends, and I'm not saying to give up any and all free time. I'm just proposing that everyone give everyone else a chance. Just one is all....  The people I'm friends with today are people who gave me just a bit more than a quick and final judgement. People can surprise you..not always for the best but it can happen.

- Sam

Alone Time Interview 2

Do you ever take alone time? Where do you typically go? What do you do?

Do you find it beneficial in your life?

Have you learned anything through alone time? if so, what?

What advice would you give to anyone who is afraid or uncomfortable with taking time to sit with their own thoughts?

thoughts? comments?




Chase's Reaction:


wow, i never would've thought these questions would be so fitting.

yes, absolutely. last year it was a real hassle for me, living in a dorm room with a roommate who was constantly around considering he never did anything. however, now that i live in a house with my own room, i find my bedroom to be perfect for such alone time. i find myself to be a major introvert, and it's nice to have an area i can go to be by myself literally any time i want, and oftentimes i find myself just chilling there by myself even without the desire to, just because, and i find it to be very relaxing because i'm just unwinding there by myself, reading, listening to music, smoking pot, etc. i find it almost necessary, considering how last year i went through some major breakdowns on account of the fact that i was essentially never alone, because even if my roommate wasn't there, my room was just the common hang-out spot for all of my friends, so it was rare a time that i would have less than about 5 people in my room along with me. i spent the first couple weeks living in this house almost completely by myself and absolutely loved it because it finally gave me a chance to catch up with all my thoughts and actually think them all the way through. (that basically answers questions 1 and 2)


what have i learned from my alone time? basically just that i'm an introvert. i'm sure i've gathered much more from it, though it's usually just personal reflection that i'm only able to accomplish by myself. it's just nice to be able to have as much time as you want to think your feelings all the way through, and then, once you come to a conclusion on them, discuss them with others, and get real opinions on them.


my suggestions to anyone uncomfortable with being by themselves: fuck everything you have ever learned about life. you don't need to be constantly surrounded by people to thrive. alone time does not necessarily mean you are lonely, a loner, or an outcast. sometimes that time to yourself is necessary. i would suggest you do just what i do: smoke some pot with some music you like, get on your computer or get a book, and just chill. if you don't know what you need to discuss with yourself, it will come to you. pot isn't even always necessary, i just find i have better internal discussions while under the influence. for anyone, i would say living an environment where you have your own room but are almost constantly within arm's reach of a few friends (like a house, apartment, or suite with personal rooms) is the perfect environment. for me, i almost never am completely by myself in this house; i could hang out with one of four people at any point of the day, but am completely able at any point to just go down to my room and be at one with my own thoughts. if you are unable to be in such an environment, seek out your own private area, and own it. once you own your own space, you're set. be at peace with your thoughts, not in competition with them, and don't let people say you need people around to thrive as a human being; it's perfectly normal to be alone.




- what a punk as fuck response.
Thanks Chase

Alone Time Interview 1

Hello again Sam~

 

First let me say that I am glad to hear that you enjoyed small group this summer.  It was definitely a very positive experience for me as well!

 

Next, I thought about how to best answer your questions, and here's what I came up with...

 

1)  What I think about the most when I am alone--Definitely an interesting question.  If I'm being honest with myself, my reply would be that usually when I'm alone I end up thinking about what I'm not happy with in my life.  There seems to be an unspoken, unofficial milestone chart for life (at least, in my opinion there's one, especially for women), and when I'm alone, my thoughts tend to drift to what I've not accomplished on that "list".  Strange, I guess, because in general I'm usually a very positive person, but when I'm alone, I end up being very hard on myself.  I'm trying to be more intentional, though, about turning my negative perceptions of my life into positives.  For example, job-wise I am not in a place where I would like to be, but I also realize that by doing what I'm doing now, I have the time to finish my masters degree and to be involved with different church programs, which I enjoy very much.

 

2) Motivation to spend time alone--What motivates me to spend time alone is a desire to escape the stress of everyday life; a desire to be intentional about spending time in prayer with God--not just talking to Him, but also listening to Him.  I dread spending time alone because I know that I have the tendency to basically throw myself a pity party.  I am motivated, though, to spend more time alone out of a determination to be more focused on the now; to neither look back on the past with frustration and anger, nor to look ahead to the future with worry and doubt.  I want to be more intentional about enjoying where I am now.  (Notice that I've used the word "intentional" pretty often :o)

 

I hope I've been able to help to help you and Jordan.  I also hope my thoughts make sense; if you need clarification on any point, just let me know.  You are definitely welcome to use what best works for the blog.  If I can ever help you again, just let me know!

 

Be safe and enjoy your travels!

I'll be in touch!

 

~Becky

Alone Time

Sam,

Well fuck dude I think you’re pretty rad too.  I fucking miss the last night of camp, just fucking thinking….was just so great.  I think it was then that I realized how important alone time really is.  I mean it took me hours of time alone just thinking about what we had discussed.  Luckily for you readers you’ll get to see those conversations in some form or another.

There were a few times this past summer I realized that without any time alone, to sit and think, my life was going, well, no where.  The worst part was, I was completely unaware.  I would get up every morning, go to work, race home when I was finished, jump right in the shower and then fly out the door to go out with friends.  I always knew what I had to do, and had my priorities straight but was making no progress in getting them done.  One night I remember I came home, high as shit, to my dad sitting at the kitchen table.  As I heated up some left over dinner (classic) he began to ask me questions about things I was supposed to do in the weeks prior.  “Did you make your eye doctor appointment? What about your dentist appointment? Did you pay those speeding tickets? Did you bring the soda to the basement like I asked?.”  Then it hit me.  I didn’t do any of those things. Fuck.  So I woke up the next day, and got my shit straight.  I learned how important it was for me to take time out of my day, some how between work and my social life, to just think.  Because if not, I was going nowhere fast.  With my alone time I scheduled my days better, understood what was most important, and could even figure out what kind of person I wanted to be.  Really with your alone time you can do anything.  There were days I got up early just to go for a run.  Yeah I was about to work an 11-hour shift but…fuck it.  I would much rather wake up earlier and feel energized, experience the beautiful summer weather, and just think rather than sleep.  Sometimes I would read, sometimes-just sit.  It never mattered.  In my time spent alone I could learn, I could mature.

Sam, I don’t feel bad about you being alone in a foreign country. What so ever.  It is so important you take that time and appreciate it, because one day you may not have any fucking time, and you’re going to wish you spent those days thinking, and learning, and maturing.  And I know that’s why you do it.

Being alone has brought me serenity.  Peace and happiness even.  I did learn who I wanted to be and where I wanted to go with my life.  And the more alone time I take the more passionate I feel about it.  Having my Dad just sit there and look at me like I was doing absolutely nothing with my life, fucking sucked.  I realized how important my time is and I never want to waste any of it.  Not a second.  I want every minute I am on this Earth to be a learning experience.  I want to appreciate as much as I possibly can because there are so many beautiful things in this world.

This passion gave me a sort of, control I’d say, over your “being”.  You begin to understand the power you can have in this world, in YOUR world.  I think it is so difficult for teens, and even anyone these days, to really know themselves and what they want.  Everyone is so cluttered by the social standards that people are never happy with themselves.  Their goals are not self-oriented; they are either driven by family or “friends”.  But I don’t mean to patronize, by any means.  It is so damn difficult to be your own being when there are so many things pulling you in different directions. 

Taking alone time makes you fucking punk.  It made me realize that those things, don’t fucking matter to me.  That I don’t have to conform and I took that control of my life and said fuck it.  Take some fucking alone time.  Think.  Don’t be scared, I know its frightening to imagine just being alone with our thoughts but I seriously think it can help a person gain so many things.  Just say fuck it.

Heard That

- Jordan

Alone Time

Dear Jordan,

First of all I miss you a lot. Saw my tattoo again today and not only thought of you but wished you the best. Being in a country where I don't yet speak the native language has had me spending a of lot time at home, in my room reading "A Practical Review of The German Language". Not yet being fluent has put me not only in my room but on an island. No matter how much time I physically spend with other people(which still isn't often) I'm still practically alone every day. There is no way to really connect with anyone really. Even if everyone here spoke English they all have their own friends and lives to attend to. I've really never been alone like this and it's had me thinking a lot.

      I think loneliness is something a lot of people experience in a lot of different ways but it only seems to have one connotation, "fucking bad". I think it's really pathetic to think it's pathetic to be or feel alone. Being alone is something that I think adds to every experience or idea we encounter as human beings. I feel like we are constantly surrounded by the need to feel like we have a "set group" of friends, or a "group" that really defines us...i'm not going to be cliche and say, "We shouldn't feel like we HAVE to be accepted by anyone!". I'm not saying that because that's bull shit. Everyone is constantly searching for a new mind set, a new friend, a new band, a new brand of cigarettes, a new way to try and convince everyone and, as sad as it is, themselves, that they are too unique and too different to be accepted. That's stupid because they are wasting what time they have in the mirror and in their head, but that's not the point I'm trying to make to you. 

    Being alone is a necessity I think. I wouldn't have the friends I have if I didn't go through some time where I was alone; alone to make my own decisions because there was literally no one there to influence them. That's what I think it is to be alone: Living a life influenced by nothing but your own interests and ideas. Loneliness is simply the time you have to become set and confident in what whatever interests YOU and what ideas YOU come up with and what YOU agree with. Doing anything constantly makes anything lose it's luster or loses it's special spark that makes your weener big, or your mouth water, or your smile turn into a laugh, or makes the story behind your tattoo actually interesting. It's the same thing with being around people. If you are constantly surrounded by people YOU are going to run out of the ability or integrity to make those times special. You also just end up running from being alone with yourself.....that means you think you're ugly, or stupid, or depressed and no one wants to be any of those things....why do you think 13 year old girls are always always always always always together and don't know how to talk to anyone...they are more insecure than fundamentalist in public school. (that is a personal stab at a girl I think is dumb...sorry not the point I know). 

I'm not trying to tell you to not hang out with your friends Jordan, I think you know yourself well enough and are capable of making any moment significant to your life...that's because you're rad as fuck though. I think everything is just a state of mind. When you find yourself alone, ask yourself why you're alone, what you can get out of it, or if there is anything you need to think about, because we are always changing and you need to keep yourself read on what you agree with. You're not a social fuck up if you take more than enough days to smoke weed alone in your room and have fun trying to keep up with your own head....any one I consider a real friend in this short life is full integrity and true deep thoughts that they chose to confide in me. They don't come up with conversation starters on the way to meet me, they've typically been ALONE thinking about IT ALL. I never ask myself, "Is this going to contribute to my future?" .....(fuck college) I really just always ask myself, "Will I have more, or less respect for myself by doing this." It's a simple game of keeping yourself occupied with integrity...that's all I see life as. 

No one in school talks to me... and I'm glad they don't because they don't know me. The day they do I'll know they have a real interest, and I'll be balls-to-the-wall flattered. Until then I'm going to continue going to bars alone, reading alone, and going on beautiful walks alone. Whoever I meet on the way I'll know is someone I belong with(not in a romantic kiss-on-the-lips way).

I'd say something like, "This post is really getting long, I'd better wrap it up." The truth is that I'm out of things to say and want to hear your response and I want to go to bed. 

And to the readers: If these posts ARE too long, please stop reading now. They will probably just get longer. Jordan and I are very close friends who love to chat. Our aim is also to attract people with attention-spans long enough to respect and soak up what we're willing to express to you all. Basically go big or go home. We don't want fans who can't read. BOOM <3 Patrick Alercia 

Some questions for the readers, from me, Samuel:

1.)What is your most common thought, when you're alone OR with people? 

            (chances are if there is something that doesn't leave your head in a verbal form it's a thought you feel alone thinking about)

2.) Is time spent just thinking time wasted? Why? Why not? Conclusion? never.

3.)Is sleeping in a waste of time?

What was a peak in your life? What brought it about?

Are you afraid of being alone?

Ok, I'm done. 

Jordan thoughts?

Fuck it,

 -Samuel

Regret

Hey Sam!

So I just left Jessica's because she had work. It's 6:30am and my only class is not until 2:30, so who knows why I'm up. It's the second week of school and I already have hours of homework each night..loving college haha.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about regret myself lately.  One of my buddies, Tommy, is going through a sort of break up but is deciding whether he wants to continue with his 2 year relationship or maybe call it quits to see what else is out there.  I told him he needs to think about what would make him happiest, what he thinks he would regret more, missing out on some aspects of college life, or losing a great girl who is always there for him. Shitty choice to make.

I love the old age mind frame Josh gave us.  Always try to think that way.  I really think regret is somewhat silly. Don't get me wrong there's quite a few skeletons in this closet I wouldn't be proud to share, or even some things I wished had just gone differently, but ultimately I try my hardest to make the best of the circumstances I am put in. Ya know I think regret has a lot to do with integrity.  A person should do, or not do, something based on the idea that it could change their view of themselves. You really are the only person that most decisions would matter to.  If you get away with cheating on a test and no one knows but you, that’s great! Unless you feel guilty, that shows integrity. Shows you want to do the right thing even though you got away with it.  Shows you what kind of person you are.  With the old age thinking you may say, “shit, do I really want to be the kid who gets by cheating off the guy next to me, or the guy who strives to do his best.” (let’s be honest for a second, cheating on a test is a small and somewhat stupid example because, get real, who hasn’t cheated on a test. Hopefully something like that really isn’t the reason you look back and say damn I was a crappy person, unless it was like the LSAT or something) These decisions should matter to you, and no one else.

Evaluate the choices that are given to you. Think about what would make you happiest and what would, at the end of the day, be in your best interest. Here is why regret may seem frivolous, yes you must live with the choice either way, but only you have the opportunity to make the best of it or even change your circumstance if at any point you are not happy. Go ahead, fuck up, it’s the best part of life. I only suggest you reevaluate yourself when you do, therefore you can make better decisions in the future. So when I think about myself as an elder, thinking about myself as a youngster (huh?) I want to be proud of the person I was and the life that I lived. I want to learn from every damn experience I have on this planet, and take that knowledge to better my being. The scariest thing I can think of these days is disappointing myself. I never want to let myself down. 

thoughts...

Readers:
What do you regret? 
Can regret be turned into motivation?
 What are you afraid to regret? 
Why aren't you fixing it?

fuck it

-Jordan