Hey Sam!
So I just left Jessica's because she had work. It's 6:30am and my only class is not until 2:30, so who knows why I'm up. It's the second week of school and I already have hours of homework each night..loving college haha.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about regret myself lately. One of my buddies, Tommy, is going through a sort of break up but is deciding whether he wants to continue with his 2 year relationship or maybe call it quits to see what else is out there. I told him he needs to think about what would make him happiest, what he thinks he would regret more, missing out on some aspects of college life, or losing a great girl who is always there for him. Shitty choice to make.
I love the old age mind frame Josh gave us. Always try to think that way. I really think regret is somewhat silly. Don't get me wrong there's quite a few skeletons in this closet I wouldn't be proud to share, or even some things I wished had just gone differently, but ultimately I try my hardest to make the best of the circumstances I am put in. Ya know I think regret has a lot to do with integrity. A person should do, or not do, something based on the idea that it could change their view of themselves. You really are the only person that most decisions would matter to. If you get away with cheating on a test and no one knows but you, that’s great! Unless you feel guilty, that shows integrity. Shows you want to do the right thing even though you got away with it. Shows you what kind of person you are. With the old age thinking you may say, “shit, do I really want to be the kid who gets by cheating off the guy next to me, or the guy who strives to do his best.” (let’s be honest for a second, cheating on a test is a small and somewhat stupid example because, get real, who hasn’t cheated on a test. Hopefully something like that really isn’t the reason you look back and say damn I was a crappy person, unless it was like the LSAT or something) These decisions should matter to you, and no one else.
Evaluate the choices that are given to you. Think about what would make you happiest and what would, at the end of the day, be in your best interest. Here is why regret may seem frivolous, yes you must live with the choice either way, but only you have the opportunity to make the best of it or even change your circumstance if at any point you are not happy. Go ahead, fuck up, it’s the best part of life. I only suggest you reevaluate yourself when you do, therefore you can make better decisions in the future. So when I think about myself as an elder, thinking about myself as a youngster (huh?) I want to be proud of the person I was and the life that I lived. I want to learn from every damn experience I have on this planet, and take that knowledge to better my being. The scariest thing I can think of these days is disappointing myself. I never want to let myself down.
thoughts...
Readers:
What do you regret?
Can regret be turned into motivation?
What are you afraid to regret?
Why aren't you fixing it?
fuck it
-Jordan
First off I would like to say that I love all of you for this (not only for this but.. this certainly adds to all of your cool factors) and I think it is fucking awesome that you are talking about regret. I really honestly don't know what it was that clicked in my head but after this past year at camp I really just wanted to basically go crazy and be super spontaneous and not care about consequences or what ifs which is a really big thing for me which I'm sure you all know because I pretty much worry about everything and overthink things all the time which pretty much hinders my ability to fully enjoy anything in my life. I felt so empowered and for lack of a better word ballsy! I really just wanted to live my life while I'm still young. I can't lie, I soon lost that spirit, not something I didn't think would happen (NOTnot). So now it's the second--no third (:O wow) week of school and I'm just kind of going through the motions of things but generally enjoying doing so for the most part. I guess what I would like to know is, if we are supposed to be "living it up" at this point in our lives, what exactly is it that we're supposed to be doing? The answer to that question really could be different for everyone. Maybe some people are really into reading and want to read every book on the list of 100 greatest books (don't know if that actually exists) or maybe someone wants to..... shit, I don't even know. I guess my point is, and to answer my own question, 'living without regret' is different for everyone and I guess you just really have to evaluate what it is you want out of life in order to take advantage of your opportunities and your young age. I think I mostly wanted to stress that not everyone no-regrets decisions are different because I think a lot of people simply think they should just get fucked up every single day and be totally reckless fools (hey doesn't sound SO bad...) but really that's not what life is all about. Ugh, my computer just started playing Eminem so I think that's my cue to wrap this up. Really I don't have a clue what I just said so hopefully it makes some kind of sense to whoever reads this. Man,I hope at least one person reads this string of random ideas heh.
ReplyDeleteWell au revoir les enfants!
(Btw I'm a n00b at blogspot so not totally sure what I'm doing.... meeeh.)